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A Fun FoE Fan Fiction

Captain Christian

Well-Known Member
The court jester was in a unusually foul mood. Working for 3 days to repair the fire damaged stables had soured his latest prank and soiled more than just his clothes. "Shouldn't have used a live chicken"; RinBin mumbled; "days of toiling like a peasant, and banned from the court. It's not my fault! Oh woe is poor RinBin."
So absorbed in his own misery, RinBin never saw what hit him. He suddenly felt himself being run over by a horse pulling a ballista. General Grivus was driving it. "Get out of the way, you fool!" He roared. RinBin got up. "A fool?" He asked. "Hallelujah! I've still got it in me! Maybe I can be promoted back to Court Jester! People still think I'm funny!" He started dancing around and just acting like a jester. Meanwhile, a mysterious shadow figure was chuckling at the incident. "I can make the most of the moment to infiltrate the castle!" He thought. Everyone was so engrossed in the incident, they failed to notice the Rogue climbing the castle walls.

CHAPTER II: Infiltration
Meanwhile, this Rogue thought of his mission. Kill the king, or else be killed. It was simple! He had no particular grudge against this king, but he coveted the 5,000 silver guilders to much to care. He had recieved 100 Silver Guilders as expense pay in advance, and decided to buy himself a drink. He walked into the tavern, amazed by the large table, gold tray, and matching gold and red carpets and tablecloths. He signaled the waitress. "May I get a flagon of your strongest ale?" "Oh, you must be a visitor!" She said. "Was it that obvious?" He wondered. "We don't serve acholic beverages, per the king's order." "That was how she knew I'm a visitor!" He thought. He decided to probe for information. "What is your king like?" "Oh, he is marvelous and gracious!" She gushed on and on about his patience and kindness. "Hmm, a weakling. It 'oughta make him easy to assainate, though." He thought. "Is he a very harsh king?" "Oh! His wrath is a terrible thing to behold!" She told him horror stories of them that had been unjust and angered the king. "But, as long as you stay out of trouble, his vengeance will not be directed at you! General Grivus, on the other hand, you might not want to upset!" She warned. "Oh, there he is now" she said as she looked out the window! "I'd better get back to work!" With that she hurried off to the kitchen.

CHAPTER III: A Bad Hiding Spot
Oh no! He had to hide! He dove into a barrel and covered it just as General Grivus, Ragu Silvertounge, and RinBin walked in, arguing loudly. "I think I should be promoted to official Advisor to the king!" Said RinBin. "Oh no you don't," chuckled Ragu. "That's my job!" "I still think promoting him back to anything higher than a peasant is more than gracious after what he did to my favorite helmet!" Grumbled Grivus. "The feather was burned to a crisp in the fire!" "Now Grivus, we know that was an accident." Said Ragu. "I guess so," mumbled Grivus. Silvertounge was the only one who could get him to "behave". "Good! Now let's get some drinks!" Said Ragu. The waitress came by. The three ordered extra bold coffee for Grivus, pure lime extract for RinBin, and hot herbal tea for Ragu. "It'll be out in just a second, sirs," she said. "Now where did that stranger go? I never asked his order. Oh well. Off to get Grivus' tea before he breaks another table!" She said to herself. She brought out their drinks. Grivus downed his in one gulp. "Down to business, men!" "First order of business, that illegal moonshine I confiscated! It is in those barrels over there!" But the mysterious Rogue heard no more. He had already drifted off to sleep from the noxious fumes in the barrel.

CHAPTER IV: N.R.A. Convention
When he came too he felt the barrel moving. "That was a good idea RinBin, using these barrels as target practice." He heard one man say. They were setting up for the annual N.R.A. (Newly Recruited Archers) convention. A man came over to pick up the Rogue's barrel. "What's in here? Alabaster? Iron? Gold?" With that the hired hand dropped it and out rolled the Rogue. General Grivus heard the commotion and marched over there. "What have we here? a stowaway trying to get a free drink?" We'll just see about that! Come on! Get up!" General Grivus shouted. He marched him before the king, who happened to be present. The Rogue gulped as he remembered the gruesome stories the waitress had told him last night. "Now or never," he thought to himself. He pulled out a knife and hurled it at the king. "Sic Semper Tyranis!" He shouted. Fortunately, he was still a little woozy from the fumes of the barrel and missed. In the confusion that followed, he made his escape. "Leave no stone unturned!" Shouted the enraged king. "We must find that assassin!"

CHAPTER V: We Meet Our Tracker
Deep in the halls of the Town Hall, a heated discussion was taking place. "It was Bogdan the beast! I'm sure of it! Let me storm in there and squeeze the life out of those crazed barbarians, your Majesty!" Ranted Grivus. "Ragu, you are my most trusted advisor. What do you think?" Said the king. "If it pleases your majesty, I think we should discuss this with the Tracker Hasburrudal Barkkas. He almost died to save you, remember? He should be able to help." Said Silvertounge. "I see the wisdom of this. Yes, call in Captain Barkkas," ordered the king. He soon arrived. "Yes, my Liege?" He asked. "I trust you have learned by now of the recent attempt on my life?" The king asked. "Yes, your Honour. At exactly 4 minutes to noon, you were standing about 17 feet from the west bank of the Shankshire River. General Grivus was overseeing the arranging of targets for the N.R.A. convention. A peasant by the name of Stephen Long, who resides in the town of Shankshire, was unloading the barrels when he dropped one and a mysterious man with type O Negative blood tumbled out. This man was brought before you by my commander, General Grivus. Grivus failed to inspect him for weapons and he threw an 11 inch Dagger, of the type common in West Nagech, at you. He then shouted in Latin "Sic Semper Tyrannis!", or, this always to tyrants. In the confusion that followed, he ran east towards the village of Sri Racha. I lost the trail, as the village is in East Nagech, and not in mine or your's jurisdiction." The king was amazed. "H...H...How?" He stammered. "I make it my job to know such things," said Barkkas. Well then, g, get going!" The king managed to say. "As you wish, my Majesty," he said with a flourish and a bow. His now empty cloak fluttered to the floor. "How does he do that?" The king wondered.

CHAPTER VI: The Chase Begins
Meanwhile, Barkkas was in his secret room in the castle, packing supplies. He pulled a cord on the wall. this signaled the Seven Rogues of Angkor to be ready to march within the minute. They were all very efficient packers. "Hmmm, he shouted in Latin, which signifies he must be familiar with the language. From the details I gathered he was probably not a scholar. This leads me to believe he may reside in Vingrid, as the particular phrase he used is the national motto of Vingrid," he reasoned to himself. "That one dramatic effect may be his downfall." "He probably feels safe because he expects us to go the opposite direction, to East Nagech. I will ask the king to send Grivus and a large legion of trebuchets to East Nagech to cause him to think we think he went there. We will have to move fast to catch him." The Rogues were now standing in the chamber. "Let's Go!" He said. He jumped through a trap door that came out under the moat and swam to the surface as the rogues followed. So, while the kingdom slept peacefully, there was no rest for eight dark shadows under the moonless sky.

CHAPTER VII: Detection
The Seven Rogues of Angkor and their leader, Tracker Haburaddal Barkkas, treked on through the swamp. It had taken them all night to get here, and they were almost to the border of Vingrid. A considerable feat, because Vingrid was almost 9 leagues away. They had to be absolutely quiet, though this was not a problem for men so well trained as they. It was no easy matter getting past the field guns at the wall. The Vingrids had more advanced technology than the Angkorians. In the end, they ended up going disguised as Drummer Boys, having a victory parade. This got them through easily enough. As soon as no one was looking they ducked into a dark alleyway. They all split up, looking for anyone who answered to the description they had of the criminal. After 2 hours, they believed they had found their man. He was leaving his house with a trunk in his hand when Barkkas approached him. "Sir, I have here a beautifully carved dagger. Perhaps you would be interested?" The man's face flinched as he saw the all too familiar dagger. He suddenly threw his trunk down and it exploded in smoke. He ran away. "Wish-Shrine-F-26!" Barkkas shouted. The Rouges knew the code. they chased him and ambushed him in an empty pasture right outside the city.


He was surrounded, he had to think fast. He pulled out a whistle. "Don't make one step closer!" He screamed. "Friend, we merely want to know why you have chosen such a path. Who has asked you to do this terrible thing? We mean no harm," Barkkas said. He stepped a little closer. "I warned you!" the criminal blew a long, shrill note on the whistle, The Rogues all fell to their knees, clenching their ears. Suddenly, the sky shimmered, lightning crashed and thunder boomed! The sky split open! Out came 7 Space Marines! "Sorcery!" shouted the horrified Barkkas! "No, superior technology, laughed the crazed maniac. "My kingdom should have lasted! Evil always prevails! I will change History! I shall rule forever!" He threw back his coat, revealing that he was also a Space Marine. Then, with a ferocious roar, the Rogues charged into battle! They fought valiantly, but were eventually all down. The Maniac approached Barkkas "I win!" He smirked. "Wrong! Righteousness always prevails in the end!" He whistled, and 8 Chapion's horses came galloping up. The Rouges threw back their hoods, revealing shining helmets! They were all champions! What followed was a long and ferocious battle, to gory for me to tell. In the end, because of their chivalry, the side of law and order won. The criminals were tried and found to be guilty. They were executed, and peace and happiness was restored to the kingdom forever.

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I have co-authored numerous stories that were done on other Forum sites for other games. It was a good way for players to show another side of themselves.
The stories were game based and although it was for fun it was taken somewhat on a serious note to prevent tricksters from placing inappropriate, unamusing, not relevant to the story posts. It became a silent notion to not do so because the stories were very good. We even had a published author join us.