Joke of the Day

Super Catanian

Well-Known Member
What weighs more, a pound of metal, or a pound of feathers?
The feathers, of course. When you pick up a pound of metal, it's just picking up a pound of metal. But when you pick up a pound of feathers, you also gotta carry in your conscience what you did to those poor birds.
 

Super Catanian

Well-Known Member
Yo tenía un vecino que siempre se metía dónde no debía. Siempre me estaba preguntando sobre mi y mi vida.
Ahora, él no es de aquí, ya que venía de otra colonia. Así que me preguntó de cuál colonia yo soy.
"Soy de la colonia de Quéte" le contesté.
"¿Quéte? Nunca he oído de esa colonia" me contestó el vecino.
"¿Qué te interesa?"
 

WinnerGR

Active Member
Yo tenía un vecino que siempre se metía dónde no debía. Siempre me estaba preguntando sobre mi y mi vida.
Ahora, él no es de aquí, ya que venía de otra colonia. Así que me preguntó de cuál colonia yo soy.
"Soy de la colonia de Quéte" le contesté.
"¿Quéte? Nunca he oído de esa colonia" me contestó el vecino.
"¿Qué te interesa?"
Translated

had a neighbor who always went where I shouldn't have. I was always wondering about me and my life.
Now, he's not from here, since he came from another colony. So he asked me which cologne I am from.
"I'm from the colony of Whatabouts, " I replied.
"What about it? I've never heard of that colony, " the neighbor replied.
"What do you care?
 

Super Catanian

Well-Known Member
Translated

had a neighbor who always went where I shouldn't have. I was always wondering about me and my life.
Now, he's not from here, since he came from another colony. So he asked me which cologne I am from.
"I'm from the colony of Whatabouts, " I replied.
"What about it? I've never heard of that colony, " the neighbor replied.
"What do you care?
Meh, it's alright...
 

Super Catanian

Well-Known Member
A race with 4 runners in it was about to commence. They were labeled numerically, with the numbers 1, 2, 3, and 4, respectively.
The person starting the race stood at the starting line with the pistol required to start the race. He said, "one, two, three, go!" and fired his pistol.
Three of the runners took of right away, except the last one.
"Why aren't you starting?"
"Because you haven't called me to go", said runner #4.
 

UBERhelp1

Well-Known Member
Well all know Einstein's Theory of Relativity: E = mc2. What's the Musician's Theory of Relativity?

E = F-flat
The tiny bit of physicist in me is like "It's actually Eo=mc^2, where Eo is rest energy.

Though to be more on track,
Once I asked a girl to go to a dance with me, and so I had to get ready. When I went to the store to get a suit, there was a long cashier line that took forever. Then, I had to wait in a long line for my suit to be tailored. On the night of the dance, I drove on the highway to the girl's house but there was a long line for the exit ramp. Eventually, I made it to her house and we went to the dance. There was a line to get inside, and since she was hungry we went to get food. The food line wrapped around the entire room. Finally, we were able to sit down at a table with our food. We talked for a little bit, but then she was thirsty, so I said I'd go grab some punch. There was no punch line.
 

barra370804

Well-Known Member
Once I asked a girl to go to a dance with me, and so I had to get ready. When I went to the store to get a suit, there was a long cashier line that took forever. Then, I had to wait in a long line for my suit to be tailored. On the night of the dance, I drove on the highway to the girl's house but there was a long line for the exit ramp. Eventually, I made it to her house and we went to the dance. There was a line to get inside, and since she was hungry we went to get food. The food line wrapped around the entire room. Finally, we were able to sit down at a table with our food. We talked for a little bit, but then she was thirsty, so I said I'd go grab some punch. There was no punch line.
Heard it before. Try again.
 

UBERhelp1

Well-Known Member
Heard it before. Try again.
From Reddit,

The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all the background checks, interviews, and testing were done, there were three finalists ... two men and a woman. For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun.

"We must know that you will follow your instructions, no matter what the circumstances. Inside this room, you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Kill her!!!"

The man said, "You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife." The agent said, "Then you're not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home."

The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about five minutes. Then the man came out with tears in his eyes. "I tried, but I can't kill my wife." The agent said, "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home."

Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one shot after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow.. "This gun is loaded with blanks,” she said. "I had to beat him to death with the chair."