Kill the Ant

[DeletedUser27117]

I got my shovel and dug a mile down (boy was I tired!!) and found the ant. I picked him (or her - you can never tell with ants) up and climbed up the sides of the hole.And just as I was about to get out of the hole the ant jumped out of my hand and I heard him (or her) screaming until it hit the bottom again. I wasn't about to climb down there again....

 

[BruteForceAttack]

Hurricane Mathew floods the hole, ant floated, crawled up on a leaf and was sailing down the street. I was out taking my dog out, my dog chased the ant and ate it.

 

[DeletedUser26102]

But the ant, with all the crud on his body from his previous adventures, cause the dog to throw up. Walking my dogs behind him my dog sniffed at the pile and I told him LEAVE IT. Looking at the pile I saw the ant crawling out of the disgusting mess. With my dog constantly wanting to check out the pile of puke I kicked the ant away and walked on. As we walked I watch the ant sailing through the air, almost as if in slow motion, until it gracefully came down in front of a raging garbage truck and got smashed in it's radiator.

 

[DeletedUser8420]

The radiator had sprung a leak so the ant got an through steam bath (thought it had landed in a sauna) happy to have the crud removed from its poor body and the steam releasing the tension from its tiny muscles....climbed onto the hood of the truck and up the windshield just as the driver turned on the wipers. The ant was flung through the air and onto a tree where a sparrow was seen flying with a keen eye toward the ant. Sparrows love to eat ants....

 

[DeletedUser25950]

The sparrow dropped the ant into my cup of chocolate syrup so I ate it, having never tried chocolate covered ants.

 

[DeletedUser27096]

I find the ant floating in a sewage treatment plant pond, fish him out (yuck!) and wash him with Poo B Gone. I then put the ant in my Flux Capacitor that is cleverly disguised as an Aston Martin DB9. When the ant has returned to the living (thank God for time machines!), I drop him in a cup of water and put the water in the freezer.

 

[DeletedUser26102]

As the chill of the freezer starts to get to the ant a freak shot of lightning from out of nowhere strikes the capacitor, blows up the freezer sending the ant sailing out the door that you opened to see what the noise was and he flew over the yards two streets over and landed upon my shoulder. Unfortunately I was just getting into the car to go white water kayaking. We reach the river, get the kayak into the water, and hit the first hole diving under and up to keep from getting sucked under the boulder. Unfortunately the ant was unsuspecting and ended up sucked under the boulder and left behind to drown.

 

[DeletedUser26636]

The ant gets loose from the boulder and swims to the surface. As the ant floats downstream a big trout eats the ant. A little further down stream a fisherman catches the trout and and the trout being so terrified by being in the basket poops out the ant. the ant, still alive, climbs out of the basket, drops to the ground and finds another ant who take him home.

 

[DeletedUser26102]

The two ants, totally in love, walk off hand in hand to form a new nest. For the next 5 years they live and thrive in delirious happiness making tons of baby ants. But that lovely lady he was with began demanding more time out, better clothes, and a great deal amount of jewelry. In delirium he attacks and kills his wife. But since it IS an ants nest the soldier ants attack him and push him out of the nest to die.

 

[DeletedUser27096]

The soldier ants leave the ant for dead after attacking him but a I, a vampire, come along and turn the dying ant into a vampire, which makes the ant immortal unless his head is cut off, he is left out in the sun or he is stabbed through the heart with a wooden stake.

 

[DeletedUser]

Just then Van Helsing shows up wearing a Garlic necklace. The terrified ant retreats and flags down a wandering gypsy caravan headed towards Transylvania. The ant seeks out Dracula's castle and asks for refuge. Dracula is nice to the ant at first as he buys the ant a tuxedo with a cape and 3 nice pairs of Nike's (because ants have 6 legs).
Together they terrorize the peasants at night. One day the ant sees an ad on craigslist for auditions in Hollywood for the "Vampire Diaries". The ant sends Dracula a text message saying he will be leaving. Dracula is furious! The ant books a night time flight but as the ant is sleeping Dracula sets the ant's Iphone alarm 12 hours ahead. The ant gets up and calls Uber but on the way to the airport the sun starts to comes up. With no place to hide from the sunlight in the Carpathian mountains the ant dies a slow burning Vampire death.

 

[DeletedUser26102]

Just as the ant felt that it was dooms to fade away to ash, massive storm clouds zoom in and protect the little ant from the sun.
Wandering aimlessly about the airport his flight finally arrives and takes off to his new destination: Hollywood. The flightpath, however, is eastbound to land in Los Angeles. The pilot accidently wanders into Russian airspace and a missile is shot at the plane bringing it down. The explosion rips a hole in the plane and the little ant is the first to be sucked out of the plane and it falls to land to die a horrid death of experiencing terminal speed meeting the ground.

 

[DeletedUser]

Luckily for the ant he is shot down over one of the biggest wheat farms used for producing Vodka in Russia and lands in a haystack uninjured. A little dazed and confused the ant follows a road but doesn't notice the sign that reads "Chernobyl>This way". The ant is very dehydrated by the time he reaches Chernobyl and gets a large drink of radioactive water from a well. Within an hour the ant develops symptoms of Acute radiation syndrome which is fatal. The ant slips into unconsciousness and his hair falls out while his flesh rots off his bones. Slowly his heart stops beating.

 

[DeletedUser26102]

Barely alive and becoming nothing but a chitten shell his powers of vampire regeneration kicks in making him alive once again. Taking a deep breath he climbs a tree, mesmerizes a crow, and has it take him away into Eastern Europe. As he reaches a bustling town he sucks the blood of the crow to renew his strength and enters the town. It would have been a nice place had it not been on the boarder between Muslim and Christian Chechnya. A fight breaks out and in the tussle he is stepped on by one of the fighters. Poor vampire ant is squashed flat on the fighters boot.

 

[DeletedUser26636]

the battle raged on 'til night and the fighter finally fell over from his wounds. once again the ants vampireness kicks in and he peels himself from the bottom of the boot and scampers off drinking from the wounded as he makes his way to Transylvania where in the distance he spots the Castle de Dracula. As the ant heads towards the Castle it steps into a garlic garden and falls down dead.

 

[DeletedUser27972]

I throw away the ant get another one and smash it and say I raised the ant and killed it.

 

[spnnr]

After hours of surgery the ant has been pieced together, and strapped to Dr. Frankensteins chair and.......it is Alive!!!!!!!!!! as lightning surges through it veins and its compound eyes flashes with the thought "I know what you did this summer" but only for a brief moment..as friends forgot to motivate the power station , production drops by half causing brownouts across the land and we drain the poor blighter to run the hair dryer..rip..

 

[DeletedUser11463]

As the vampire, frankenstein ant slowly fades awaye a bolt of lightning shorts out the hair drier and revives the ant. With long fangs and two very tiny bolts protruding from his neck, he attaches himself to the nearest werewolf and gets taken away to the land of GE. The werewolf gets stuck in a large sinking morass of un-needed ToR blueprints, sinks to the bottom and the ant gets sucked under with him.

 

[DeletedUser8420]

An army of Rail guns (hey they need to be needed besides they gotta be good for something) blasts a hole through the morass of un-needed TOR blueprints, and the ant makes his way up to the top the BP mountain. Just as he stretches his front legs up toward the moon a Dragon drone appears and scorches the ant as it finishes off the werewolf.

 

[spnnr]

*tack... tack* as the scorched carapace of the ant began to give way atop BP mountain. Then *Crackle, snap..Pop!* arose the ant of the coffin of its previous body. The thirst for blood was now upon it and it marched towards a neighborhood. Then Wham!!! as the skies darkened and blackness enveloped its consciousness ..for it had forgotten today was FOE's neighborhood refresh day and what was once green meadows now saw entire cities falling out of thin air to continue spreading that dreaded disease urban sprawl..