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Outrageous Weakness

Darth Mole

Well-Known Member
But, alas, you can't turn back. Apple Face.

I can see all the colors of the spectrum except Orange, Yellow, Green, Blue, Indigo and Violet
 

Freshmeboy

Well-Known Member
That's because your eyes are covered by a red cloth.....I can break wind and glass at the same time....
 

DeletedUser31521

That's because your eyes are covered by a red cloth.....I can break wind and glass at the same time....
Which renders the whoever smelt it dealt rule invalid among you and your friends...
I can eat a whole large pizza (with anchovies!) in a single session.
 

Darth Mole

Well-Known Member
Lasting only 36 hours

I have one brown eye that sees left handed people in a crowd and one blue eye that can spot a dolphin in a room full of porpoises.
 

Freshmeboy

Well-Known Member
And when you cross your eyes you are left with one big green eye that sees only left handed porpoises...I, however, can mold molten gold into jewelry with my fingers...
 

DeletedUser31521

Unfortunately, all the jewelry can only be worn by Mr T... I, however, can skip at supersonic speeds.
 

DeletedUser28670

Simply by plugging your genitals into any telephone socket.

I can guess the weight of any guest at a party to 50% accuracy.
But you never get invited to parties, as you are a party pooper.
I can see in the dark.
 

Freshmeboy

Well-Known Member
But only when you carry a flashlight...I can create gravitational vortices that can stop or speed up entire planets by using the dead language of an unknown ancient Mayan culture...
 

Stephen Longshanks

But only when you carry a flashlight...I can create gravitational vortices that can stop or speed up entire planets by using the dead language of an unknown ancient Mayan culture...
...or you could, if the language wasn't dead and the culture wasn't unknown.
I can detect sarcasm in typed remarks...
 

Freshmeboy

Well-Known Member
But only remarks typed by members of the Hadzabe tribe of Tanzania in their native tongue...I can deflect objects in the atmosphere by controlling the wind....
 

Stephen Longshanks

...but only by speaking in the dead language of an unknown Mayan culture while standing in Tanznia.
I can do things to you make your heart feel glad...
 

DeletedUser9624

... but 6 out of 10 experience a heart attack afterwards. I can breath under water ...
 

DeletedUser32389

Except there was only plasma at the beginning of the creation of the universe…


I can send a person into the throws of ecstasy with the power of my mind!
 

DeletedUser32389

Yea, it's called counterfeiting, pretty sure thats illegal :)
I can ride a bike with no handlebars