For my many and varied transgressions against my hapless neighbors.
For my theft of the fruits of their hard labors.
For leaving their young men-at-arms to bleed out in the sand.
For returning again and again to plunder and pillage.
I throw myself on the mercy of Ardak the Blessed, patron saint of memes.
I call on the deities of the Forums,
The once and future moderator, Dursland the Just,
The sniper of GBs, Sir Sloppyjoeslayer,
The arrogant jerk of reply posts, Algona the wordy,
I call on them to intercede for me.
I long for my sleepless nights of guilt and shame to end.
I yearn for a message center free of the cries of the oppressed.
Oh, Ardak, merciful Ardak, hear my pleas!
Give me absolution for my horrible crimes against the meek and helpless sheep of my hood.
I throw myself at your feet and await your judgement.
I'm thinking a little community service and a stern talking-to should do it.
Amen.