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Outrageous Weakness

DeletedUser31440

freshmeboy said:
But only when using your tongue and eyelashes to type on a waterproof PC...I can create earthquakes by stomping my feet..
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But you're paralyzed from the waist down.
I can make politicians work together across party lines.
 

Freshmeboy

Well-Known Member
But only after ingesting one billion avocados and turning your hearing aid up to 11...I can shoot fire and electricity from my fingertips...
 

DeletedUser11463

freshmeboy said:
But only after ingesting one billion avocados and turning your hearing aid up to 11...I can shoot fire and electricity from my fingertips...
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which are facing toward you...burning you to a crisp.
I have the power to always know where I am.
 

Freshmeboy

Well-Known Member
But only in daylight on the 19th of November...I can make the stars themselves flicker at my command...See..? There is another one...I did that..
 

DeletedUser31440

freshmeboy said:
But only in daylight on the 19th of November...I can make the stars themselves flicker at my command...See..? There is another one...I did that..
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But only when you blink quickly.
I can make anyone instantly grow a bushy unibrow.
 

DeletedUser

freshmeboy said:
But only by sacrificing your own unibrow...I can stop the movement of electrons in all elements...
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...but only all elements, at once, thus essentially ending the universe.
I have the power to ignore a phone call and/or text on my cell phone without anxiety...
 

Freshmeboy

Well-Known Member
Because you haven't paid your cellular bill....I can energize depleted photons and return them into space....
 

Freshmeboy

Well-Known Member
Because you leave multiple phones lying around with the fart app....I can see individual atoms of gold in a wedding band or gold bar or gold tooth....
 

DeletedUser28670

freshmeboy said:
Because you leave multiple phones lying around with the fart app....I can see individual atoms of gold in a wedding band or gold bar or gold tooth....
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But you have to peer at it while it is on someone's body, while the owner of the gold jewellery looks on at you awkwardly as you stare at his jewellery...
I can sense sarcasm in written forum posts.
 

DeletedUser

Lord Muggle said:
But you have to peer at it while it is on someone's body, while the owner of the gold jewellery looks on at you awkwardly as you stare at his jewellery...
I can sense sarcasm in written forum posts.
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...but only when they're written in Russian.
I have the ability to make friends with even the meanest dog...
 
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